I have beautiful pink rubber boots. At least they WERE clean. Now they have been broken in and used to clean up the yard. I will spare you the pictures as I should have taken a photo of the boots before I went to the yard!
It's the first really beautiful day we have had this spring- like REALLY beautiful, wear short sleeves and sweat hard while cleaning the yard. I couldn't help but smile and think, yeah. Life is good! Even though I have a tiny yard that has been under snow for 6 months, and also own 4 dogs. Yeah. That's LOADS of presents out there for me.
Despite the presents and the fact that they are starting to smell a little, I still couldn't help coming back to my life. I just spent 5.5 days at a Retreat; a renewal seminar. It was 5.5 days of what I consider to be my personal hell but also my personal heaven. We spent the whole time in intensive group therapy. I needed it more than I could have known. I have long kept parts of myself isolated from the rest of me; I prefer to keep my personal life away from my professional life for example. Or my spirituality away from my dog world. But, I am tired of that. Time to integrate the blogs all down into one and be integrated. I learned that this week.
I also learned that I CAN clean up my own personal messes and have a happy, whole life. It is possible to work through what I have to work through and smile through the tears. It's good. I couldn't help but think I am metaphorically cleaning up the dog presents in my own life as I am physically cleaning the yard. Life is good.
So good, I even asked my doctor about going off all my meds. It might just be time to spread my wings and see if I can fly. Or, face my anxiety without medication. Or, face my IBS (newly diagnosed and on a very strict diet for- no more gluten, no more dairy and I have a gut that feels GREAT!). Anyway, face my IBS without meds. Just dietary interventions. I think I can do it.
I think I can lay on my back and watch my kite fly high in the sky, proudly. Yup, lessons learned from therapy.